Whether you’ve been married for a day, a month, a year, 10 years, or for what seems like a lifetime, you’ve probably looked across the dinner table at least once and wondered, “What in the world did I do?” For some it’s just a fleeting thought; for others, like our celebrity friends, staying single would have been a better choice. Let us count the ways.
1. Singles can be jet-setters
When you’re single (and childless), you come and go as you please, without having to check in with a spouse and kids. Marriage, on the other hand, requires some degree of “settling down.” It’s no wonder that celebrity couples who work full time in different cities have a hard time keeping their marriage alive. Could that be one reason why A-listers Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson called it quits after just two years of marriage?
2. Singles don’t have to contend with someone else’s collections
When you live with someone, you also get to live with all the junk he or she has accumulated over a lifetime. So, if he collects bugs, or comic books, or typewriters, you get a houseful of crap, too. The four-times engaged, one-time divorced Johnny Depp reportedly owns and accessorizes dozens of celebrity dolls, including Beyoncé, the High School Musical cast, Donny Osmond, and Lindsay Lohan. Awkward.
3. Singles are only responsible for themselves
When you’re single, you’re responsible for your own actions. When you’re married, the choices your spouse makes could impact your life, and you may need to intervene. You’re not his or her parent, but you share some level of responsibility for his or her well-being. Think how hard it must be for Kanye to explain Kim’s actions — and vice versa.
4. Spouses take up space
You don’t realize how much people can get in your way until you live with them. This is especially true if you’re married to a tall or large man. These guys tend to knock things (and people) over, crush wine glasses in their gigantic hands, and generally make you feel claustrophobic. Can you imagine what it would be like to be married to 6-foot-8 actor Brad Garrett?
5. Singles can stay set in their ways
You may be aware that you have a tendency to overeat, or shop too much, or dominate people, but when it’s just you, you can feel free to stay the way you are. You don’t have to answer to anyone, and no one is right there next to you making you change and grow. Though it’s sad, it’s not necessarily shocking that notorious bad-boy Jesse James couldn’t change his ways and go the distance with Sandra Bullock.
6. Singles keep their neuroses to themselves
If you know you’re high maintenance, you might feel guilty bringing your baggage into a marriage, and even potentially passing it on to your kids. Staying single means you don’t foist your neuroses on someone else. It’s called containment. I don’t know if Charlie Sheen feels bad about his three failed marriages (and reportedly insane behavior), but I’m guessing his ex-wives do.
7. Singles save time and money
Some marriages were clearly never meant to be. Just think of all the time and money people could have saved on couples’ counseling, divorce proceedings, and custody arrangements if only they had stayed single! Though she would never regret her daughter, I wonder if Katie Holmes regrets her marriage to Tom Cruise for those reasons … and maybe a few more.