Humans have had a complicated relationship with sex over the years.
From the moment our parents try and have ‘the talk’ with us, intercourse is a huge, and sometimes pretty complicated, part of our lives.
If you are reading this we assume you are a human (or a very intelligent monkey) in which case just be thankful their our sexual endeavours are relatively straightforward, especially when you compare it to…
When the male cabbage butterfly (those white things buzzing around your picnic all summer) sees a female he likes the look of he will mate with her – providing she is willing – by depositing a package of sperm and proteins.
Proteins? This essentially ‘clogs’ the female up, stopping any other males from mating with her.
However in order to get a diverse range of offspring the female has developed and organ which can eat stuff from her vagina tract.
We’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.
Dogs and cats
It was the playground myth all young boys pondered over – can you break your penis?
Two animals that certainly can are male dogs and cats, because both actually have bones in their penis, which on rare occasions can be fractured.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘give a dog a bone’, doesn’t it?
Pandas are well known for the lack of effort in the bow-chicka-wow-wow department.
In fact females pandas only come into heat once a year for a period that can be as short as 24 hours.
When you consider that the male panda’s average penis size is about three centimetres long, it makes you wonder why they even bother.
Think you get tired after a spirited session in the sack? Lice of the Neotrogla genus can have sex for up to 70 hours at a time.
Also, the female of the species mounts and penetrates the male.
Flirting is a complete minefield for humans. Am I wearing too much make up? Should I buy her a drink?
Hippos have a much simpler and far more direct way of courting – they fling excrement at one another.
The act is supposed to demonstrate how strong and virile they are (we don’t recommend trying this on a night out).
Sex is all about competition and survival of the fittest, unless you’re a dragonfly.
You see, these glorious insects have evolved to be a little more sneaky than most.
The male dragonfly’s penis has barbs and hooks that can scoop out any semen that may be have left in the female by a previous partner.
Some breeds can even release a fluid that can ‘dilute’ any sperm they find, ensuring theirs is the one that fertilises the egg.
Male sharks don’t really have penises. They have ‘claspers’ instead.
Just let that sink in (pun definitely intended).