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Thursday, July 18, 2024

Professional Women: Stop Complaining, Start Negotiating

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by Li Lin

There’s 2 ways of talking–one will make you money, and one won’t.

Which one will you choose when it comes to your career?

Are you going to bitch about how you are underpaid, or are you going to learn how talk so you can make money?

From the time that women spend complaining about the patriarchy, or how women earn only 70 cents on the men’s dollar, how about learning to negotiate instead?

When I hear the phrase ” Women need to work 2x as hard as men, but luckily that isn’t hard”, I want to throw up.

If you know what you are worth, why would you work 2x as hard to get the same pay as somebody who is twice as inept??

Doesn’t make sense!

It’s easy to blame something outside of ourselves when it comes to our compensation, but as a woman in the Western world, what pay you have is what you ACCEPT!

If you have multiple job offers, you have the ability to decline the one that is not right for you and you have the ability to negotiate and leverage your other job offer so that you can get paid HIGHER.

The thing I see with a lot of women is that they strive to get one job, and because they don’t value themselves enough, they end up just settling for this one job because that’s all that they feel good enough for. And when it comes to salary negotiation they don’t have another offer as leverage.

Or I’ll see women specifically going into non-profit or jobs that don’t pay well because they’re not comfortable dealing with money.

(Yes of course there are other reasons to go into a non-profit, but I am pointing out that for some women, money is an uncomfortable issue to even discuss)

The time that you spend complaining could be time used to LEARN how to negotiate!

(No matter how evil you think your boss is, until you’ve negotiated, you haven’t yet actually tried to improve your situation.)

Being a keyboard warrior and just decrying the evils of patriarchy isn’t going to improve your situation right now.

What IS going to improve your situation right now is learning how to negotiate.

I helped on of my software engineering friends negotiate 20% over her salary and I cannot tell you how much of a difference that makes when you finally feel like you’re rewarded for your work and it REFLECTS in your bank account.

The incredible thing is that in Asia, women are AMAZING at negotiating. It’s not just a workplace practice but it’s a lifestyle–you learn to budget for your family and you learn to see how you can get the best end of the deal. It’s not dishonesty, it’s just knowing how to talk so that you can get what you want. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what communication is all about, getting what you (and the other person) wants?

Believe it or not employers WANT to pay you.

IF you know how to demonstrate your value.

As women we all say how we are good at talking right?

How about using your gift of gab to make some money?

and FAST money, too. A negotiation is only about an hour or two but the result can be thousands!

  • Then you don’t have to work as hard.
  • You don’t have to sacrifice time away from your family.
  • You don’t have to constantly resent your company for not paying you enough
  • You will feel more powerful as a result.

I understand that traditionally women have not been the breadwinners and I understand that it’s difficult when your mother or grandmother just doesn’t understand, but it is up to YOU to stop this cycle and to be responsible for your own pockets.

So take some time to read the negotiating books, practice with a friend who is good at it.

You’ll be amazed at how a simple conversation can convert to thousands of dollars for you.



p.s. if you have no friends who are good at negotiation, you can book me for a 30 minute complimentary discovery call so I can learn more about your situation and see what would work best for you. Serious inquiries only, click the link here to be taken to the application.

Li Lin is a career coach who helps people get hired. Connect with her on LinkedIn.

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