A heartbroken mum believes her 14-year-old son would still be alive if school hadn’t been cancelled due to coronavirus. Tracey Tyler claims son Sam took his own life while feeling ‘isolated’ in lockdown and wants to warn other parents to look for the signs.
The 40-year-old Tyler had taken on an extra night shift on the coronavirus ward at her local hospital before coming home to found her son Sam dead in his bedroom on May 25.
The schoolboy had been ‘laughing and joking’ while playing online games with friends and planning trips with them.
He told them he would be ‘back in two seconds’.
But Sam never returned and Tracey says she discovered him hanged when she came home from her shift.
Four months on, Tracey has found the strength to share Sam’s devastating story in the hopes it saves other children’s lives.
The mum-of-three is urging parents to ‘ask the awkward questions’ as she believes that ‘a five-minute conversation could save [their] children’s life’.
Tracey said she hoped Boris would not call for another lockdown as ‘kids are suffering’ and says she believes more people died of suicide in August than Covid.
Tracey, from Bedworth, Warwickshire, said: “Sam had everything. You would never think he would do this.
“Knowing my child has chosen to end his life, without leaving us any explanation, is hard. It’s tough. There was no note or anything.
“It’s like you’re on auto-pilot. My heart is broken. If I’d just asked him, I think he’d have told me. I thought him being moody was down to being a teenager.
“You don’t want to ask. It’s a taboo subject. No-one wants to talk to their child about their own death.
“I just want people to realise even if your child is happy and you just think ‘oh, they’re a bit hormonal because they’re teenagers’, just ask.
“An uncomfortable five-minute conversation could save them. I wish I’d done that with Sam.
“He felt isolated when we were in proper lockdown but when I left to go to work, he was on his headset on the computer. He was laughing and joking and making plans to go fishing after lockdown.
“Him and his friends wanted to book a Harry Shaw coach to go to the beach – that’s what they were talking about.
“He just said ‘I’ll be back in two seconds’, then never went back online.
“I do believe if he’d been at school, in a routine, it wouldn’t have happened.
“The only thing that changed was he was awake all night playing games, sleeping all day – like all the kids were.”
The health care support worker had taken on extra work to help out during the coronavirus pandemic and had no idea her son was suffering.
He had shown no history of mental illness and Tracey brushed off his moodiness as being that of a typical teenager.
Tracey said: “I was at work. I came home in the morning and the lights were all on in the house.
“I thought ‘that’s weird, why are the lights on?’ I made a cup of tea then went upstairs.
“I thought ‘I’ll nip and turn his lights off’. I opened his bedroom door and his bed was empty.
“I thought ‘where’s he gone?’ Then I looked over. He was hanging there.”
Tracey claims he was ‘always laughing and joking’. There were few signs he was thinking of ending his life.
Tracey said: “Sam was a good-looking lad, he was really popular, he had no school worries, he had a lovely girlfriend.
“He was always laughing and joking. He had an infectious laugh – I can hear it now.
“Sam had a heart of gold. Everyone always says that about him. He was a really good lad and he’d want me to help. He wouldn’t be happy about me putting his pictures up though.
“If you were a 14-year-old lad, you’d want to be him. He loved sports. He had everything he wanted. That’s what’s so hard.”
Tracey said: “We were struggling as adults to cope with when we went into lockdown and I think it’s hard for the kids being out of routine.
“I think [schools being closed] had a major part of what happened with Sam because he felt so isolated.
“I know a lot of the kids would still go out and meet but he couldn’t do that. Because I worked on a Covid ward as well, I was so worried about him spreading anything.
“These kids are suffering. I just hope we don’t go back into another lockdown.
“It’s not being in a routine and being awake all night gaming and sleeping all day. Not being able to go out to the park and things like that had a massive effect on the kids.”
Since Sam died, Tracey claims she has received messages of support from his teachers and school friends, who had been regularly checking in with her.
She is now campaigning to improve mental health education in schools – but claims open discussions should also take place at home.
Tracey said: “You don’t want to think you’re putting that seed into their brains but the way the world is now, they’re experiencing so much more now than we did when we were young.
“I think kids don’t want to upset their parents by telling them they feel this way. If the parents just ask if breaks that barrier down.
“That five-minute conversation could save your kid’s life.
“I’ve had five people contact me this morning saying that thanks to that post, they spoke to their children last night and didn’t realise how bad they were feeling. They had no clue their kids were feeling this way.
“If this helps one person, one parent, that’s saved their child, it’s worth it. I want to help these kids.
“The curriculum needs changing. We focus so much on physical education and mental wellbeing should be alongside that.
“Suicide rates are so high in this country.”
She is now channelling her energy into her two other sons, Nathan, 11, who started secondary school earlier this month, and Daniel, nine.
The national mental health charity PAPYRUS, for the prevention of young suicide, has produced a new parents’ guide to self-harm and suicide
They claim ‘starting the conversation is the most important thing’.
Ged Flynn, chief executive of PAPYRUS, said: “For many parents, suicide is the unspoken dread. Talking to your child about suicidal thoughts can be very difficult and feel very daunting but starting the conversation is the most important thing.
“Revealing thoughts of suicide is a difficult but incredibly brave thing for a young person to do. The reasons why people experience thoughts of suicide are complex and differ from person to person.
“By talking openly and safely we can break the silence that exists around suicide and give children and young people the support they need.”
Source: Mirror
