Here are some indicators that all isn’t well in your relationship
Relationships, especially a bond like marriage, is supposed to last a lifetime. However, most people say that they were shocked when they found out that their lovey-dovey partner is very much in love… but with someone else! There are definite tell-tale signs in most cases, but often you can’t or don’t want to see them. Well, sweeping things under the carpet isn’t going to help you one bit. In fact it will only make things worse. So, here are some signs that could mean that there’s a meal for two cooking behind your back!
Loss of communications: That’s the obvious one, isn’t it? Leaving a post-it on the fridge or sending emails to inquire if the laundry has arrived is not the ideal way to communicate. You don’t need to be a relationship expert to see that not only have the sweet nothings stopped coming your way, but even the fights don’t happen anymore. Indifference is worse than irritating behaviour. It’s time you have a heart-to-heart with your better half.
Phone habits change: A person’s phone habits can reveal a lot. We’re living in times, where the cellphone can reveal a person’s deepest, darkest secrets. Does your spouse feel the need to move away when a certain someone calls? Does he have a special ring tone for this particular caller? Are there two many beeps indicating incoming messages at an hour when you can’t really be discussing office work for sure. And does he get anxious when his phone is within 5 km radius of you! A quick run through your spouse’s inbox or sent messages could clear many things.
Sudden changes in likes: If your well-rounded spouse is suddenly hitting the gym or seems overtly obsessed with his/her looks, it may indicate something amiss. And though you maybe happy with your spouse’s new, improved looks, you may not be the motivating factor if he/she isn’t asking for your opinion. This isn’t limited to external changes, but also changes in some likes and dislikes. Why else would your ghazal-loving husband become a Britney Spears fan suddenly? Or why would your wife who loves English poetry start sprouting shayari.
Picks up fights: Having fights is a sign of a healthy relationship, but fighting over trivial things like spending an extra minute in the loo is uncalled for and unacceptable. And if everything from the way you dress to the way you sit, walk talk and even breathe seems to be a reason for a fight between you and your not-so-better half, then there’s more to what meets the eye.
Accuses you of cheating: Most often the best way to get rid of your guilt conscience is to shift the blame. A person’s ego often comes in the way of accepting his/her mistakes and the best way out is to accuse the other person of some wrong doing. So if your spouse suddenly starts objecting to you chatting to a colleague of the opposite sex too often don’t think he/she is trying to be cute and possessive. This may be later used as a reason to justify his/her infidelity. The concept of ‘You slipped, but I was pushed’ is the easiest way out.
Works overtime: That excuse still works, doesn’t it? Today an important meeting, tomorrow a business party and then some visiting clients… the excuses just don’t seem to end. It would be a good idea to check what exactly the overtime work is all about and what’s it going to cost you… very dearly if you aren’t careful.
Breaks dates: Do you remember that time when you were left standing at the restaurant eyeing the people who walked in, but you never got to go in because your husband didn’t turn up? Or the time when you were stranded in a downpour because you wife couldn’t find a cab for over two hours from her office which is two blocks away and her battery died? That overtime excuse we mentioned or visiting clients are excuses that come handy at times such as these. We don’t mean to say that every time your spouse breaks a date you suspect his/her actions, but anything that happens too often does indicate something.
Goes out without you: There’s always some reason why you can’t come to a party. ‘It’s just the office people’ or ‘It’s a boy’s night out’ or ‘You won’t enjoy it’ or ‘We’ll be discussing work, honey’ are the lines that are guaranteed to keep you safely tucked away at home. And while you order food at home and watch a movie your better half may be boogeying the night away. There’s got to be some reason why your homely hubby has turned into I-party-every-night type.
Sex habits change: Two many headaches can’t be healthy for any relationship. If your partner prefers to watch saas-bahu sagas to canoodling with you, then it’s time to make your feelings clear. Don’t let your partner blame you for the sex life going sour. When candlelight dinners, sweet nothings and even sexy lingerie doesn’t work there’s got to be a major problem there.
Used another name in bed: It can’t get more obvious than this! We don’t even need to explain this to you. Let him/her give you a plausible explanation for this. And if it isn’t convincing enough, it’s time you seriously seek out that fierce divorce lawyer.