Look, having loud sex is grand, and it’s wonderful to feel so relaxed, comfortable, and hugely turned on that you’re yelling to the high heavens.
But dear lord, you need to try to be as respectful as possible. Consider how thin your walls are. Maybe question having an enthusiastic sex session when people are trying to sleep. If your moans of lust sound a bit like you’re being murdered, you may want to consider soundproofing.
One woman who clearly does not abide by these rules of neighbour-pleasing sex-having is the neighbour of Stacey Ritzen, a writer and editor for UPROXXX.
While Stacey was in her apartment, she started to hear her neighbour enjoying some sexy times. Which would be fine, except the sexy times were incredibly loud, in the middle of the day, and went on for AGES.
So Stacey live-tweeted the whole thing.
Who wants to hear my terrible neighbor having extremely loud sex? pic.twitter.com/ABIhEKlQJs
— Ritzo (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
While we’d never shame someone for their happy sex noises, this does seem a tad loud.
So this is still happening pic.twitter.com/xNHCuq3Aup
— Ritzo (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
Oh god… it's starting again. HOW MANY ORGASMS MUST ONE WOMAN HAVE????
— Ritzo (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
And this one actually made us fear for her safety.
HAND TO GOD pic.twitter.com/VoEkrYGK6f
— Ritzo (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
(Don’t worry, she hasn’t actually been murdered)
FYI my video camera cut off halfway into that last one so it just sounds like someone is being murdered. I assure you that's not the case.
— Ritzo (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016