by Kiri Blakeley
Sex can be one of the most intimate and bonding experiences two people can have … but it can also be a time fraught with uncertainty, irritation and … LIES! C’mon, we’ve all lied occasionally about, during, or after sex. “Was it good for you?” can really only be followed by, “Of course it was, honey,” unless you want to break up. If it wasn’t, bring it up later (gently) in the therapist’s office. Here’s 15 ways we lie about sex.
1. Being on birth control. Sadly, women do lie about birth control sometimes. One woman confesses to telling her husband she is NOT on birth control even though she is. They mutually decided to have a baby, but after they hit financial and relationship problems, she decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. But when she tried to bring up going back on bc again, she says he “knows he’ll be mad and upset and think we’re breaking up or something.”
2. Not being on birth control. Probably the most dangerous sex lie a woman can tell — secretly trying to get yourself impregnated is never a good idea. Whether it’s to hold a relationship together, to twist a proposal out of a guy, or to just have a baby cause you’re ready and he’s not — STEER CLEAR of this major lie!
3. Of course I’m clean. New couples should have STD talks with each other — but usually it takes the form of, “Have you ever been tested?” and then the other person says, “Of course I have. I’m totally clean.” In reality, you don’t know unless the person shows you test results! And believe me, people lie about it. Some even go so far as to lie when they know they do have an SDT. A model is suing her rich ex after discovering she had herpes, which she believes he gave her.
4. You’re the best lover I’ve ever had. Might be true. But if not, you’ll say it anyway.
5. You’re the first lover I’ve ever had. Not everyone lies about this, but some do for some strange reason.
6. Sorry, got my period. One of those sneaky little fallback lies women rely on when they’re not in the mood. Some guys don’t care and will grab you anyway, but enough do get skeeved that it can be reliably used as an avoidance tactic.
7. Nope, not on my period. For the lady who wants some nookie but is afraid her menses-sensitive guy won’t comply if he knows she’s flowin’, she can just do a clean up and act like she doesn’t have it. By the end of the period, should be good for 15 minutes at least. If she leaks, she can be all, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize!”
8. I never fantasize about anyone else. Right.
9. I never masturbate. Okaaaay.
10. I love giving blowjobs. Usually said in the courtship period.
11. Your penis is huuuuge!
12. It tastes great.
13. You smell great.
14. That feels great. Yeah, even when he’s pinching your nipples like a toddler death-gripping a favorite toy.
15. Number of sex partners. Guys inflate. Girls forget.
Have you ever told a sex lie?