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Monday, April 22, 2024

19 Words That Sound Really Dirty But Actually Are Not

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Words are fascinating.

Some of them offend us, some of them titillate us, some of them impress us and some of them astonish us.

And yet, all they really are are a collection of letters.

It’s the meaning behind words that give them their true power. And yet there are some words out there that have perfectly innocent meanings but make us feel all levels of filth.

Here are some examples of words that sound totally dirty, but actually aren’t.

1. Beaver

One chews up wood. The other…well, I suppose the other does that too.

2. Rump

This word used to belong to butchers. But now it makes us picture a human posterior in all of its glory as opposed to a cut of animal meat.

3. Penal

As in punishment, but not the kind that this word might make you think of.

4. Masticate

Careful how you say this word. You don’t want to sound like a w****r when talking about chewing.

5. Tight end

Sounds painful and it is a position of sorts. Just in American football.

6. Fanny blower

This is not, I repeat NOT, an item to cool down thrush. It is actually what fans were called in the 19th century.

7. Poop deck

Why would anyone consider this a good name for a part of a ship? It’s just asking for misunderstandings.

8. Flange

Until Urban Dictionary gave it a whole new meaning, this was just a component to strengthen iron beams, thank you very much.

9. Flaps


10. Slag

Horrible word in the wrong context but in scientific terms it is the waste product of smelting reactions. Every science teacher dreads this lesson.

11. Knob

When Coronation Street’s Norris Cole uttered the line that his knob could do with a wipe, he meant his door handle. But that line was put in there for a reason. Because we all think knob is funny.

12. Skiddy-cock

This is an old name for the water rail bird. It isn’t anything to do with anal sex.

13. Dongle

Whoever named this Wi-fi stick was trolling the world.

14. Moist

Old people use it to describe a decent sponge. To everyone else, it feels a little bit … filthy. Describing yourself as moist will not make people ask you if it has been raining outside.

15. Handing off

This phrase that sounds awfully like the passtime of a lonely gent actually describes a rugby motion. So kind of apt, but still not meant to be rude.

16. Kumquat

It’s a fruit honestly. And it isn’t salty.

17. Shaft

It could be the film. It could be a narrow passage. It could be the song.

But no, our brains automatically think – penis.

18. Flump

Just because.

19. Cleat

Not an Italian pronunciation of a G-spot, this word actually refers to a part of a shoe. Which is most definitely not where you will find the clitoris, lads.

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