This article aims to separate the boys from the men. After reading this article you should be able to quickly assess whether or not the guy you’re currently dating is a man who is worthy of your energy and time, or a boy who will gladly waste your energy and time for his own personal gain. It’s important to note that you should NOT attempt to change a boy into a man. This is something he has to learn on his own through trial and error. If you choose to remain in a relationship with a boy, you have no one but yourself to blame when he takes you on an emotional roller-coaster throughout the relationship. I strongly encourage you to avoid dating boys at all costs.
- He Never Does What He Says He’s Going to Do. The easiest way to determine whether or not you’re dating a man or a boy is to see if his actions speak louder than his words. Does he always say “I’m going to call you right back” but never does? Does he always tell you about his elaborate goals in life but rarely puts in the necessary sweat equity to actually achieve his goals? Does he always have an excuse (legitimate or not) to explain why his plans always fall through? If you’ve answered “yes” to the above questions, it is irrefutable that you are indeed dating a boy. A man keeps his excuses at a minimum, recognizes that his word is his bond, and believes in hard work and perseverance. A boy may have good intentions, but he’s incapable of delivering results because he doesn’t take action. A boy is fast to talk but slow to move. Being in a relationship with a boy requires you to play the role of his mother more than his actual lover.
- He Thinks That Love Is Supposed to Be Easy. If the guy you’re dating believes that love is a noun and not a verb, he is a boy. Love is risky and requires certain sacrifices that aren’t always comfortable for men, especially those who are believers of “hyper masculinity.” Love requires reciprocity and nearly unwavering loyalty to something/someone. If disagreements push him away, you’re dating a boy. If he can’t find time to hang out with you and engage in meaningful dialogue, yet he’s always available when it’s time to get intimate, you’re dating a boy. If he frequently uses the phrase “You’d do this if you really love me” to persuade you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, you’re dating a boy. A man realizes that love is a verb and a disagreement doesn’t mean the end of a relationship; it means an opportunity for understanding and growth. A man understands that love requires reciprocity and will never ask you to do something for him that he wouldn’t consider doing for you.
- He Doesn’t Respect Women. If a guy you’re dating believes that women shouldn’t have an opinion and their primary purpose in life is to appease men, you’re dating a boy. If a guy you’re dating is quick to call women out of their names, you’re dating a boy. If a guy you’re dating believes that women are too complicated for him to ever understand, you’re dating a boy. A man values a woman with an opinion, as long as she’s willing to listen to his as well. A man is slow to call a woman out of her name, even when she upsets him. A man understands that while women are complex, they’re intriguing and bring significant value to a man’s life.