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Tuesday, March 19, 2024

34 Insecurities Everyone Has Had During Sex

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If sex is really mind-blowingly great, you’re not worrying about anything.

You’re in the moment, you’re feeling good. Amazing feelings are happening all over your body and it’s incredible.

Sadly, not all sex is like this. And even during really, really good sex, our neurotic side tends to pop up and interrupt occasionally.

Don’t worry. We all do it. It’s just that for some reason, no one ever discusses it. Here are 34 worries we’ve all had while getting it on.

1. Is this a normal level of turned on? Are other people more turned on usually? Less? Am I sex addict?

2. I wonder if this is the normal amount of build up people need before they can start the main show.

3. Am I doing this right? Is this how normal people have sex? What if I’ve been doing it wrong all these years and no one’s ever told me?

4. Oh. Wow. That’s nice. But If I ask for more they might think I’m being too demanding.

5. Is this a sexy face? Can they tell I’m enjoying myself? Or do I look like I’m in mild to moderate pain?

6. I’m being too loud.

7. I’m being too quiet.

8. That was a really weird noise to make. Never do that again, self.

9. Shit. I just maintained eye contact for a touch too long. They probably think I’m a romance-obsessed person intent on a wedding within the month. Cool.

10. There is literally no way to do dirty talk without sounding ridiculous.

11. Are these noises right? Is this a normal amount of oh’s and mmm’s? WHAT DO OTHER PEOPLE DO?

12. Ah. Yep. This angle makes my stomach have ripples. Feeling good. Feeling sexy.

13. I highly doubt that the places I’d like to be hair-free are entirely hair-free right now.

14. What if I smell weird?

15. What if I TASTE weird? Oh God. They’d probably never mention anything. I could be smelling and tasting weird right now and I’d never know.

16. Am I supposed to have more ‘moves’ than this?

17. Maybe we should change positions. What’s the normal number of positions to go through in one session? Three? Seven?

What if everyone’s doing twenty positions and I’m really underperforming? What if no one even changes positions? I need to do a survey.

18. Maybe I should be watching more porn. For research.

19. Am I supposed to be more flexible?

20. I could fart right now. That would be horrible.

21. I could pee.

22. Can they see my butthole in this position? Are they staring at it? Like, directly into my butthole?

23. Whoa. What if on this one day, even with years of personal hygiene experience, I haven’t wiped properly. Oh God.

24. Do my bits look normal? Just in general?

25. I have no rhythm. This isn’t working. We’re not gelling. I’m a failure of sexiness.

26. My room really isn’t tidy enough for this to be happening here.

27. Hmm. What they’re doing right now doesn’t feel amazing. Can I tell them without sounding like a massive dick?

28. God, I’m tired. My legs are sore. But if I stop it will kind of ruin that sexy, super-fit image I’m going for.

29. Shiiiiiit my body is definitely about to make a weird noise.

30. Oh God. That’s amazing. I’m going to cum too soon, and it’s going to be really awkward.

31. Or I’m never going to cum. And we’ll both feel too embarrassed to give up.

32. OH. Wow. Yes. My orgasm face is probably so weird.

33. Will they judge me if I sleep now?

34. …Or ask them to leave?

Don’t panic, guys. Your worries are fine, so are your sexual preferences, and we can all just relax, breathe, and enjoy it.

INSECURITY-FREE SEX FOR ALL!

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