Most of us could probably do with a few helpful tips to spice up our sex lives.
But maybe don’t take your inspiration from this list of the weirdest sex advice people have ever received, brought to us by the people on Whisper.
Because doing a handstand while in the throes of passion just sounds like a recipe for disaster.
So instead take this as a guide of what not to do to improve your bedroom antics.
Except definitely don’t use maple syrup as lube. That’s a terrible idea.
Oh, and the anal beads thing…
1. Do a handstand while having sex, it helps the pain when you’re new to it apparently.
2. ‘When you’re having sex go crossed eyed, it’s funny as hell.’ Says my mom.
3. Treat sperm like it is acid, don’t let that sh*t get anywhere close to your skin.
4. Someone told me that swallowing grapes whole was good practice for deep throat.
[ed’s note: this is actually really dangerous and could lead to choking – do not try under any circumstances]
5. Don’t pull anal beads like you’re starting a lawn mower.
6. Don’t use maple syrup as lube.
7. If you do it upside down you’ll get pregnant quicker.
8. If you cough during sex you can’t get pregnant.
