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Thursday, March 28, 2024

5 Trends That Are Making You Look Cheap

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1. Crochet
I’m talking about that coarse, bulky stuff that looks like a house-bound granny or some desert-island fisherman with nothing better to do made it. It’s just so crafty and you end up looking like you’re wearing a doily or a net, especially if it’s that sad, off-white color crochet so often is.
How about lace? It’s like crochet, but, you know, nice.
There is even crochet lace that’s pretty, if you want to get technical. The key is finding pieces that look a bit more delicate and refined, as opposed to hearty and homemade. Look for lace that has a raw, irregular edge that follows the lines of the lace’s design, instead of being cut and sewn in a straight line like any other textile. And if you do buy a piece of clothing with straight-cut lace, make sure the edges have some sort of binding in place to cover the seam — it just adds a nice bit of polish.

2. Bow Blouses
Those flimsy fabric bows just hang there like flaccid fabric penises. It’s like fashion meets erectile dysfunction.
If you absolutely must have a bow at your throat, at least make sure it is substantial enough to stand up under its own weight. Then cut through all that saccharine, ’70s, secretarial sweetness by styling it with some leather or denim — maybe even a little animal print. At least that way you’ll be doing a cool, rock-n-roll thing. And if it is just going to hang there, at least make it a little sexier by leaving the top few buttons undone and letting those long strips of fabric hang down like the ends of a narrow silk scarf.

3. Bargain Fringe
Fringe may be a major trend this year, but it can start to look jacked up really quickly and it’s a hard look to pull off on a budget.
That long, silky, synthetic fringe that is everywhere right now gets tangled pretty much the moment you start moving in it and then you’re screwed. There is no way you are getting that massive knot undone and even if you could, it would just happen again.
If your fringe is slinky, make sure it’s also short — short enough that it can’t get tangled, at least — and look for pieces where the fringe is dense, not just some wispy little line of B.S.

Fringe cut from fabric is rarely an “expensive” look either, even when it’s brand new — very DIY — and once those edges start to fray, which they always do, it’s garbage city all the way.
Cut fringe really only looks good in leather and suede — the edges will never fray and it is much less likely to tangle than textile fringe, even when it is on the longer side. In fact, you may even want it to be a little on the longer side so it moves nicely when you walk. Fringe is supposed to move, after all.

4. Pre-Styled Design Gimmicks
This is stuff like clothes you can’t un-layer because they are sewn together, or blazers with pre-scrunched sleeves. Tricky little design details like these often make clothes look costumey, rather than sophisticated, which makes them much less versatile. What if you want to wear that blazer with the sleeves down? What if you decide you would like to roll them? What, you have to go buy another blazer? I guess that’s OK, but it’s awfully wasteful. And for what? So you don’t have to push up your sleeves yourself? Are you really that busy?
Stop trying so hard. Just keep it simple.
Learn to see the beauty in clean lines and precise, straightforward tailoring. Enough with all the silly little tricks. You’re a grown-up. If you want your sleeves scrunched, you should scrunch them yourself.

5. Clothes You Can Read
On paper, L-O-V-E spells “love,” but on a T-shirt, it reads more like “cheap.” It’s even worse when the words on your shirt or bag or whatever are trying to be clever or ironic in some way, like dotting the “i” in “bitch” with a bow. It’s just so try-hard, you know?
If you want to wear a graphic, wear a graphic, but skip the wordy stuff.
There are some notable exceptions to the no-text rule — band T-shirs, college gear — but, in general, having text on your clothing makes you look immature and really limits how and in what situations you can wear something. You don’t want that.

 (via Cosmopolitan)

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