There’s a lot to be said for elopement. With tales of family fall-outs, horrific hen-dos (when did a week in Benidorm become the norm?) and wedding dress woes, you’d be forgiven for wanting to give the whole marriage thing a miss.
Your guests should be the least of your worries, but according to new research by Hairtrade.com, one in 20 wedding guests have made a pest of themselves on the big day.
We’ve all seen (or been) that anti-etiquette wedding guest who tripped, insulted or freeloaded their way through a wedding.
Weddings aren’t everyone’s idea of a good time but try not to spoil it for the special couple by being one of these seven wedding guests:
1. The one that upstages the bride
Rightly or wrongly, women are rammed with ‘special day syndrome’ from childhood and it intensifies tenfold after the proposal – the wedding day is the biggest day of a bride’s life, all eyes will be on her etc etc. If you want to be the woman that takes that away from her by wearing nipple tassles and twerking down the aisle then doom on you.
2. The one that doesn’t buy a gift
We want you to join in our happiness, not pay for our future. Oh alright then (Picture: Nuiiko)
Yes, gift lists are annoying and yes everyone buys the £20 candle sticks first so you’re stuck with the £250 patio furniture, but unless the bride and groom are complete sociopaths a personal thoughtful gift will probably be much more welcome than a set of chrome napkin holders.
The gift list is there to ensure they don’t get twenty toasters and fifty picture frames, not to get their money’s worth from their wedding guests.
But then again, there’s always one impoverished student, distant cousin or tight aunt that doesn’t get a gift at all. (I’ve been the student; it’s not a good feeling.)
3. The late one
It’s only alright when a Hugh Grant character does it, and only because he’s terminally hopeless. The bride arrives late, not the guests.
4. The one on Facebook
‘Having a great time at Mike and Sandra’s wedding!!! Whoops missed the ceremony!!! #whatamilike’ (Picture: Michael Dalder/Reuters)
YOU’RE MISSING IT. YOU’RE MISSING LIFE.
5. The one who is above the dress code
This is definitely out. (Picture: zysman)
The bride probably won’t care what you wear, as long as you don’t turn up in a big white dress. Trainers are out though, obviously, as is that clingy little red number.
6. The one battering the free bar
It’s basically the only reason you’ve turned up (Picture: file)
Weddings are supposed to be classy affairs so don’t get too pally with the champagne toting waiter – booze is supposed to be a social lubricant, not a one-way ticket to tears, punch ups or A&E.
7. The speeches heckler
Cleverly disguised terror. Give the lad a break (Picture: Jacob Wackerhausen)
It’s hard enough addressing a hundred people without your ‘mates’ trying to join in. Leave it alone, he’s sweating buckets as it is, poor lad.