Most people enter in a committed relationship hoping for long-term happiness and companionship. Moreover, when the couple is in love at the time they entered into the committed relationship, it appears perfect and rosy.
However, things can happen and trust can be broken in the relationship. This leads to intense feelings of pain and betrayal. At the time it would appear like it is irreparable and the couple feel like their relationship is changed forever.
Although trust is sometimes broken in a relationship, it is possible to regain trust with some work (and sometimes, online counseling like that on ReGain). When the couple is willing to repair the relationship and rebuild the foundation of trust, they can emerge better and stronger. It requires an acceptance that they each have to grow and develop in their own ways to move away from past hurts and behaviours into a new reality.
These are some ways to regain trust in a relationship:
1. Admitting Faults
The first step to regain the trust of your partner is to admit your faults and come clean about the actions that led to a breakdown of trust in the relationship. The offending partner needs to be sorry about their deeds, and show remorse through consistent actions. This goes a long way to erasing the offences of the past.
Although it takes more than just admitting faults to repair the damage to the relationship, without this step nothing else will work.
Understanding is crucial in the process because each person processes pain and betrayal in their own way. The partner who betrayed trust in the relationship needs to understand the other partner’s point of view, and give the person space and time to process the offence.
The partner should also empathize and get to a point of understanding the depth of pain and hurt the other party is feeling.
A couple trying to regain trust in their relationship should be patient with each other, and patient with the process. Patiently allow things to get worked out, and do not assume that trust will be rebuilt overnight.
Communicating your needs to your partner is important in the process of regaining trust. If you have been offended or hurt, by all means tell your partner how you feel and what you expect going forward if the trust is to be rebuilt. Let your partner also know where you are struggling so that they will know what areas to work on.
Sharing your feelings opens the door to reconnecting on a deep level and getting your partner to share their needs, wants, and expectations with you.
Reassuring your partner goes a long way in rebuilding trust in the relationship. The offending partner should constantly reassure the other party that they will do what it takes, and that they are sincere in their efforts at rebuilding trust.
6. Show Proof Through Actions
While this process is on-going, continue to prove through actions that you have changed, are remorseful, and are committed to the relationship. Openness and honesty are two vital factors that will make the other party come to the place of regaining trust.
7. Seek Couples Therapy
Seeking counseling and therapy helps to regain trust. A therapist can help you better understand relationship issues and how to save your relationship. A therapist helps a couple evaluate their relationship from a clinical and emotional perspective.
When there is betrayal and trust has been broken in a relationship, it can affect the mental health of the aggrieved party. The couple can also find that they are unable to function and meet professional obligations, and fulfill duties to their children. Obtaining counseling by a professional third-party helps to deal with the thorny issues from a clinical and emotional perspective.