The New Year has just begun. You’re probably hoping that 2019 is the year when all your dreams come true. You have probably made a list of resolutions and goals. Some of these goals might include forging stronger relationships and friendships with the marvellous people in your life. Top on your list might also feature a yearning to find love in 2019.
But love, beautiful as it is, can be a mystery. Sometimes, love will seek you out and fill you with more joy, peace and warmth than you can ever imagine. Other times, love will snub you and leave you hopeless. Even so, you must keep trying to find it.
As for February, the month of love approaches, we will all give serious thoughts to happiness, commitment, and connection. You will probably be wondering how you can find love in 2019.
This article will focus on the top 7 effective ways to find love this year. The tips on this list will consider facts gotten from research findings, experiences and surveys.
1. Learn To Love Yourself Unconditionally
Believe it or not, Whitney Houston was right. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. The first step to finding the perfect love is this: learning to love yourself. Flaws and all.
Irrespective of how dodgy your past has been or how many mistakes you have made, you’re still capable of being loved. Treat yourself as the special person you are. Forgive your past mistakes, make restitution and take steps to develop your gifts and talents. Resist the temptation to wallow in self-pity and regret. It will only put off potential love interests.
Carry yourself like royalty and the people you will meet will respect and love you for the unique person you are. You may not know it, but there are people in the world who will think you are gorgeous, smart, funny and lovely. When the time is right, your paths will cross. Always remember to put your best foot forward.
2. Be Certain Of What You Want
Before you venture out into the dating world, it is important to have a good idea of what you really want. Now, I’m not saying you should draw up a long list of irrational expectations. Even so, you should have a good idea of what kind of love interest will fit perfectly into your future.
For instance, you might want a bibliophile or a stargazer. If you suffer from depression, you might benefit from a relationship with a psychologist or a good listener. Knowing what you want has a lot of advantages. It reduces the risk of heartbreak and disappointment. You deserve to find love in the arms of someone who will make you happy, someone who will help you achieve your goals and aspirations.
According to research experts, one criterion for matchmaking is similarity of interests. Studies have shown that couples who have similar interests are likely to have a happy and long-lasting relationship. Before you take that leap, be sure that you and your partner share a commitment to similar causes and hobbies. The couple that plays together stays together. The New York Times once published a remarkable essay in a love column. It portrayed the marriage of a couple who stayed together mostly because they worked through their differences and because they played tennis together.
Life is too short. Decide what’s best for you so you don’t have to waste your time, resources and efforts loving the wrong persons.
3. Concentrate On Participating In Your Favorite Activities
A young writer once told the story of how she met her husband. She contributed a groundbreaking essay to a radio program her husband happened to be listening to. He was so impressed with her erudition and ideas that he sought to meet her in-person. One day they met at a book club that had been set up by the radio presenter. The writer and the radio listener soon started dating, fell in love and got married.
Many couples meet while their busy doing the things that make them happy. So go out there and be yourself. Throw yourself into those activities that thrill beyond measure. It doesn’t have to be an intellectual project or a political cause (although those seem to be effective ways to meet fantastic potential love interests). Look deep within yourself. Do you like karate, running marathons, sitting in the park or planting trees? Don’t hold back. You are likely to find deep wells of joy and contentment, and you are also more likely to find the one.
4. Search For Love in the Right Places
You probably don’t know this: but there is a wrong place to look for love. Sure, there are success stories of couples who met during a drunken spree at a pub. But those are exceptions. Check the statistics. Moreover, what are the chances of making the right decisions when you (and/or probably your partner) are drunk and high on other narcotics? And is the risk really worth it?
A relationship and dating expert explained: “Meeting someone in the club or bar is cool, but it isn’t ideal. There are just too many risks. Chances are that you’re both drunk or high and aren’t thinking well. Often, one or both parties will make up facts about their lives. It’s clearly not a good place to start off a serious relationship.”
But this doesn’t mean you should lock yourself in a dark room. Experts advocate more outings for people who are trying to find love. One good place to look for love is in simple places. Especially places where people are clear headed. Weddings, baby-showers, schools, book clubs, shopping malls and offices are some good places to look for love. So get out more often, with time, you’ll probably form a connection with a potential love interest.
5. Try Online Dating
Like I said earlier, love is often lurking in the most unlikely places. You could be looking for love in your neighbourhood, whereas love is oceans away. While you’re loving yourself, doing the things you love and looking in the right places, try visiting a credible dating website.
But are online dating websites safe, secure and reliable? Yes, they are. It depends on which ones you try out. There are thousands of potential love interests on social media and dating sites. Keep an open mind.
Participate in social media conversations. Comment on content, articles and posts you like. Commend their authors, illustrators and creators. Social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Quora and Reddit are great places to meet like-minded people.
Do your research. Find out what dating sites are worth your time, efforts and resources. A survey showed that most paid dating sites seemed to increase one’s chances of finding serious long-lasting commitment. Free dating sites are fine, but you might have a hard time trying to figure out who is serious and who is not.
Don’t forget to use your instincts and to guard your heart diligently when searching for real love online.
6. Patience is Key To Finding Love
Ever heard the saying, love is patient? Oh well, now you have. Love is rarely ever instant. It needs time to grow and blossom into that sweet smelling flower you dreamed it would be.
Chances are that you will keep trying and trying until you find the one. But don’t throw in the towel. Finding love is sometimes a long journey. Be patient. Enjoy the journey. With time, everything good will come.
7. Be Brave
Do you need to be brave to find love? Yes, you do. In fact, dating and relationship experts noticed that some people ruined great relationships and romances because they were afraid of the unknown.
Don’t be scared to take that leap of faith. You might have experienced betrayal and heartbreak in the past, but that shouldn’t stop you from taking a chance on love. Learn from your past relationships, pick up what’s left of you and move on.
Do not transfer the hurts and mistrust of your past relationships into your new union. Give everyone the benefit of doubt. Cast your fears away and love will find you.
Conclusion (And Bonus Tip)
It’s quite easy to find love if you take the right steps. Go out more, give online dating a shot, love yourself, look in the right places and finally, help others. The laws of giving really work. Give little gifts at work and elsewhere. Smile at people. Give kind words of encouragement. You are more likely to attract positive energy. And love is often given to those who do little deeds of kindness.