First time sexual encounters tend to be distressing if handled incorrectly and with improper sexual knowledge.
To help you prepare for your first time at sex, Dr. Pulkit Sharma, Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalytical Therapist, Vimhans, shares the top 8 things to keep in mind for first time sex.
Safety first: A lot of people feel very emotional and passionate about the first time sex and indeed the passion should be enjoyed but not at the cost of safety. Use condoms to keep away from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Choose a reliable partner who cares for you rather than going in for a casual sex encounter as the latter might be unsafe and risky.
Don’t have very high expectations: While many people wish the first time to be a magical and memorable experience, it may not be so. Learning to have good sex is a skill, which develops over time. Having very high expectations can make you feel hurt and disappointed.
Don’t forget to enjoy foreplay: Even though you may be anxious or excited do not jump to it. Take your time and give the other person time to warm up by an extended foreplay. For the first time, the more foreplay you do, the better it is.
Make sure you are amply aroused before intercourse: You need to be amply aroused before intercourse. Otherwise the first time sex can be painful and disastrous.
Don’t assume that he’s the expert: More often than not, men like to boast that they are experts at sex because they are often ashamed to admit their insecurity and inexperience. So, do not assume that he’s the expert. Communicate your desires with your partner and ensure that it isn’t always him or her leading.
Don’t fake it: Many people fake being satisfied in order to please their partner. Such a step can breed resentment and eventually spoil your relationship, so make sure you are not faking it. For the first-timers faking orgasm is a big no-no!
Don’t expect to have an orgasm: Although orgasm heightens pleasure, you can still enjoy sexual experience without it. Do not expect orgasm, if it happens it is good, if not then just go with the flow and enjoy the experience.
Will it hurt or will I be a good lover? First time sex may hurt a little and that does not mean that you are not a good lover. But if you feel hurt be open and frank in communicating it. If you have a sensitive partner they will be able to understand and take care.