Today I’m going to deep dive into what slow sex is, why it matters, and why it could be the thing that single handedly revitalizes your relationship, magnifies the sexual pleasure that both you and your partner feel, and reduces stress, fights, and your susceptibility to the (soon-to-be laughably unimportant) goings-on of daily life.
We live in what has often been referred to as ‘the information age.’ There’s more information at our fingertips than ever before, and a result of this phenomenon is that we are more prone than ever to being stuck living in our heads, and feeling increasingly disconnected from our bodies and sexual selves.
With all of this technology fighting for our attention, we often feel distracted, anxious, and disconnected from ourselves and from our partners.
The more anxious and disconnected we feel from our selves, the more prone we are to craving quick fixes. We want the five-minute cures. We crave fast foods and faster orgasms.
In an unfortunately realistic and common worst case scenario, couples have sex a few times per week with each session lasting anywhere from two to ten minutes. It isn’t uncommon for clients that come to me to say that they have maybe a half an hour per week of total time where they are sexually engaging with their partners.
Clearly, as a sex and relationship coach, I’m biased but what else is life for if not slowing down to connect with and make love with our significant others? Love is the always the answer. And slow sex is a delicious and efficient way to access that love.
While some of the benefits of slow sex might be more self-explanatory than others, I feel it necessary to point out the major benefits that come from engaging in regular (or even occasional) slow sex with your partner.
Practicing slow sex results in:
1. More orgasms (higher total number of orgasms).
2. More powerful orgasms (for both of you).
3. More connection between you and your significant other.
4. Fewer and easier fights outside of the bedroom.
5. Less stress in your daily life.
6. More sex (in total time and in total number of weekly sessions).
7. Your partner is more likely to initiate sex because the sex is that much better.
8. If one or both of you are male, slower sex gives a higher likelihood that you will be able to have multiple ejaculatory orgasms without being deterred by your refractory period (aka the time it takes you to sexually recharge).
9. More expert level knowledge of what specifically turns your partner on and what gets them to climax.
What should you do now?
The first and most important thing you can do is send this article to your partner. Right now. I’ll wait…..
Once you and your partner have both read this and are on the same page, the next step is to put an extended slow sex session in your calendar.
Pick up whatever massage oils/toys/music/mood lighting you might need for your slow sex session and make it happen.
You have to put this information into action otherwise it’s just words on a page. I beg you… commit to doing this with your partner. Make a 3+ hour night of it if you wish.
You will feel more intimately, emotionally, and sexually connected to your partner than you have in months/years.