It’s not as hard as you might imagine. Here are a few foolproof basics to entice your lady
Every man has, at some point or another, been given the spiel about the importance of foreplay. Over the years some learn to ace the art, while others still struggle with the basics. How little is too little? How does one know when it’s safe enough to move on to the bigger game? Is it really so essential to start with, every single time?
To make things easier, here are a few basic guidelines that will help you cover your bases and make sure you aren’t short-staffing your lady love.
The thing is, unlike men, women and their emotional beings require a lot more ‘play time’ to get their engines roaring. It’s not just about starting slow or taking things easy, in order to produce enough lubrication required for intercourse, women’s bodies need help conjuring up the lust quotient. Emotional intimacy and closeness with their partner, which is cemented during foreplay, is the best way to set the mood for a long and fruitful session. While each woman is different, there are a few basics that work for most in general. Avoid rushing things and you should do just fine.
Talk and tease
You might be a hands-on kind of guy, but talking dirty is a great way to get your lady listening. Women respond differently to written and spoken words than men, which is why women’s erotica has the sort of readership it does. If you describe how you would like to touch her, with what intensity and in which direction, you’ll engage her mind before her body, which is exactly what you aim to do. She’ll be visualizing it eagerly and be ready before you know it. The beauty is in the details. As for touching her, avoid the obvious privates. Instead, try her erogenous zones — mouth, neck, wrists, inner thighs and back.
You don’t always have to get into the driver’s seat only when you reach the bedroom. The thing about public display of affection is that it could be respectful, playful and deeply intimate without being overtly offensive. A playful tap on her bottom or a passionate kiss at the bar sets up the mood for what is to come, and gets her wildly interested much before you make it to the confines of your room.
Clothes aren’t essential
If you think only women can strip and put on a sexy show, you’re in for a surprise. Try your hand at seductively undressing yourself, unbuttoning one at a time. The idea is to tease and interest without being very aggressive or impatient. Music is usually a good aid if you feel too awkward and you can make things interesting by asking her to join you.
Slowly undress her as you both groove to the music. Steer clear of gangsta rap or Celine Dion tracks and stick to soulful serenades by Norah Jones or a breezy Jack Johnson for a spring in your step.
It’s all in the hands
While each woman may have her own special responses and preferences there are some moves that work on everyone. Once you’ve set the mood and you’re both in a comfortable state of undress, use your fingers to pleasure her privates in gentle, smooth moves. Nothing too brash or aggressive. Kissing, suckling, pecking and gently nibbling are all acceptable. Try and keep a tab on her responses and make your moves accordingly. Softly touching and caressing her clitoris should get the lubrication process started. Feel free to give her oral pleasure as well.
Take it easy
Soon enough her body language will tell you she’s ready. Parted legs, arching back, deep kisses are usually dead giveaways. This should be your cue. But do remember, like each woman is different her responses to your moves will vary, some might work with greater success than others. The idea is to seduce her into the game instead of pouncing on with action. You needn’t try all these together. In isolation or in combination of twos or threes will work wonders too. All it takes is a little dedicated attention.