@ikhide: 12 Steps Buhari Should Take To Avoid The Wrath Of Nigerians

@ikhide: 12 Steps Buhari Should Take To Avoid The Wrath Of Nigerians

General Muhammadu Buhari sheds tears as he addresses supporters on the eve of the 2011 presidential campaign in which he lost
  1. 1.Admit that in electing you, we failed, failed, failed Nigeria.
  2. Admit that the silly promises you used to win the elections are just that – silly; abandon them loudly.
  3. Develop and implement a Nigeria-centric economic plan that offers relief in the short run and sustains economic vitality in the long run.
  4. Develop and implement a Marshall Plan to address institutional rot in education, safety and security, healthcare, transportation, and social services.
  5. Free Nnamdi Kanu; in so doing you will relegate him to the fringe element he was before you loudly made him an undeserved prisoner of conscience.
  6. Fire all members of your inarticulate PR team and hire real professionals who know how to communicate with your traducers and friends.
  7. Fire your economic team. They are not ready for prime time.
  8. Admit that Nigeria as presently constituted is an inefficient unitary behemoth that must be restructured with power devolving from the corrupt center.
  9. Admit that the dollar is our official currency as opposed to the Naira, that pretend currency of peasants.
  10. Reach out to the opposition, admit that you have no idea what you are doing, ask for and receive help with gratitude to the gods of our ancestors.
  11. Initiate a real war on corruption, not the ongoing war of attrition against your personal enemies.
  12. Apologize to the Nigerian people for lying to them and letting them down; we are a forgiving people, you will be fine. Just apologize already!

Ikhide Ikheloa is a writer and literary critic. He is one of The Trent’s Elite Bloggers. He tweets from @ikhide.

The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author.


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