Here are the ground rules of touch that all beginners need to make sure they know (and stick to):
- Her upper arm, elbow, and the small of her back are best. At least when you’re just getting started. Touching these areas is the easiest to do, won’t come across too sexual by accident at the wrong times, and will allow you to learn touching easily. Touch her elbow or upper arm while making point; place your hand on her lower back while showing her something with your other hand, or if she’s moves herself very close to you in a side-by-side position.
- Don’t touch her face (too soon). People can be very sensitive about being touched on the face, unless they’re very comfortable with you. A good way of thinking about it is this: she’s probably more comfortable with you touching her breasts or butt than she is with you touching her face. Don’t do this unless she’s extremely at ease with you.
- Touch soon into talking to her. Take her hand when you first meet her (don’t shake it, like you would a man… just take it, and hold her hand for a moment in yours, almost as if you were about to bend down and kiss it… but probably don’t actually kiss it). Touch her intermittently as you talk. The longer you go into talking to a girl without touching her, the weirder it gets – get it out of the way ASAP, and make it a common, normal part of your interaction.
- Touching on a high point is easy and good. She’s laughing? Laugh too – and touch her. Touching on high points – she’s laughing, she’s agreeing with you, she’s smiling a big smile – anchors her positive emotions to your touch – making her come to subconsciously associate touching you with feeling good (and for obvious reasons, refrain from touching her when she’s angry and/or upset). A high point touch can be cupping her elbow in your hand as she laughs, or it can be putting your hand on hers for emphasis at just the right moment – like George Clooney’s character does with Jennifer Lopez’s in this clip:
- Don’t look at your hand. One of the (rather funny) things men inexperienced with touching girls tend to do is look at their hands while touching a girl. If you want an easy way to creep a girl out, just look at your hand as you touch her. Staring at your hand touching her is a surefire way to make things feel very forced and unnatural – the good news being, of course, that all you have to do if you’re doing this to make it feel a whole lot MORE natural when you touch a girl is don’t look at your hand.
- Be close to her when you touch. The other thing that can make touch awkward – aside from making eye contact with your hand instead of with her – is if touch comes from too far away. Imagine reach across a table to touch a girl on a high point… feels pretty weird, right? Feels even more weird to her. Get close – then touch. And when you’re talking to a girl you like, you should be close anyway – there’s no reason for standing far away like a pair of strangers when you’d like to be something more than that. Get inside her personal space if you want a personal relationship.
- The more (natural-feeling) touch, the better. Touch communicates physical dominance and triggers sexual tension between you and a girl quicker and more easily than almost anything else you can do as a beginner. When you’re still inexperienced at creating a sexual vibe, touch is the easy shortcut to making her excited and preventing her from thinking about you as “just a friend.”
- … just don’t go overboard. As mentioned in “Mastering Sexual Touch,” it’s important you stay away from venturing into touching women too sexually or intimately until you’re alone with them. Touch a girl intimately too early, and she’s liable to crest emotionally too early – then crash (and lose interest in you). Instead, keep her in suspense until you’re ready to pull the trigger.
Don’t make touch a big deal, and it won’t be.
Just touch her arm, elbow, or lower back, don’t look at your hand (look into her eyes and continue conversation as normal), and make sure you’re close when you touch.
(via Girls Chase)