by Yomi Adegboye
I do not expect that this article will change anyone’s mind about anything. I do feel that someone ought to speak out about this thorny subject and present clear facts and info about it for the benefit of those who have been harassed and made to feel less than human because they masturbate.
What Is Masturbation?
Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be performed using the hands, fingers, everyday objects, or dedicated sex toys. I lifted that definition right off Wikipedia, as it is an accurate description and I do not feel compelled to reinvent the wheel.
Masturbation Is Not A Sin
As I am a Christian (while this article is not religious in nature), I feel a need to speak out for the Bible. There is not one verse of the Bible that condemns self-stimulation. There is not one that insinuates such a condemnation. Yet, day after day, we hear preachers condemn masturbation as a sin. Their arguments?
There is the argument that sex was created for mutual pleasure: Yes; I agree. Sex was. But masturbation is not sex. It is sexual, and many other things are sexual, but it is not sexual intercourse in itself. Sex is for mutual benefits; masturbation is for personal benefits. Two different things. Yet, as I shall show later, masturbation can be helpful in enhancing sexual intercourse. Not only is it not a sin, it is a good thing.
There is also the argument that Jesus said if you lust after the opposite sex in your mind, you are sinning. Yes; that is correct too, but then what part of physically stimulating yourself with the hands, fingers or any other object is lusting after someone in your mind? If a Christian lusts after someone in their heart while masturbating, then such a one has crossed the line that Jesus drew. That does not make masturbation in itself a sin. That person has merely corrupted a clean act and needs to deal with his or her thoughts.
Someone asked me yesterday how I want to prove that “those activities are censored and powered by the Holy Spirit”. Let me ask a question in response: Have you ever given any thought to what happens during actual sexual intercourse? A man and a woman panting, sweating and heaving like two idiots. All those cool looking dudes in suits (yes; that includes me) don’t look so cool when banging their women and look like grotesque demons when having an orgasm. What seems Holy Ghost approved and powered about a hormone-raging man ramming a stiff rod into a woman again and again and having her moan like an animal? And as for the women, all those prim and proper women we see in public often look like demon-possessed pagan priestesses during intercourse.
Seriously, apart from the “Jesus!! Jesus!!” that some of the women cry out when in the throes of a good romp or an orgasm, there cannot be anything about sex that looks like the Holy Ghost gives approval to the activity. Yet, He does. Case closed. The issue of Holy Ghost approval and all that is in the mind. The Bible that Christians claim to uphold does not make an issue of these things or of masturbation.
I am tired of Christians being so close-minded that they manufacture rules to help God. First, God doesn’t need your help. Second, take a look around you and ask yourself if this close-mindedness has helped your homes. Sexually dissatisfied husbands and wives everywhere, many of whom will not speak out though their marriages are in shambles. And many of them stubbornly refusing to look at facts when presented to them. Their call still.
Masturbation Is Addictive
Yes; it is. But then, so are mobile phones, food, chocolate, wine, Coke, Twitter, Facebook and football. Yet, no-one is screaming “Sin!!!” for all those. Oh, even sexual intercourse itself is addictive. Let’s just lay aside all those things because they are addictive; shall we? No; how to deal with anything that has the potential for being addictive is not to stay away from it, but to exercise moderation.
Masturbation Is Not A Dirty habit
Some people call masturbation a dirty habit. In what sense? It produces mostly the same results as sexual intercourse – the man ejaculates. The woman has an orgasm and in some cases squirts. What else? Masturbation is just as dirty as sexual intercourse is, as far as I can tell.
Masturbation Is Healthy
In general, the medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women. It does not cause any physical injury or harm to the body, and can be performed in moderation throughout a person’s lifetime as a part of normal sexual behavior. Source
If you use other objects apart from your hands, be careful though so you don’t hurt yourself. Perhaps you should visit a sex shop for some toys instead.
Why You Should Masturbate
Now that I have cleared the objections to masturbation, let me tell you why you should masturbate.
One: masturbation helps you get comfortable with your sexuality. You get to know your body and what triggers you. That means you can generally be a better sexual mate to your spouse. How do you expect your spouse to pleasure you sexually when you are so clueless about yourself to start with? Do your partner a favour and play with yourself!
In counselling couples with sexual issues over the years, especially where one partner is sexually naive, I have recommended that he/she masturbates to become more comfortable with their own sexuality. A woman who is cold and passive during sex can be a big problem to her husband. Masturbation helps deal with that. She learns what she likes and what triggers her off. She learns what makes her climax. She becomes better at sex with her husband. Same thing the other way round.
Two: With many couples, one person usually has a higher sexual drive than the other. This can put pressure on the relationship. Masturbation is an outlet for such individuals. Women keep complaining about their husbands masturbating, yet forget that they are the ones who come up with excuses of having had a tired day or having a headache when the poor man wants sex with them. Such women are evil and insensitive. Totally selfish. This applies to the men too. If your wife has a higher sex drive than you do, masturbation is a good let off of sexual pressure. In the alternative, you could let her roam….
Three: For single folks, masturbation is a good way of relieving the sexual tension that can build up over time. It is safer than casual sex and doesn’t cost you buying anybody lunch or dinner. Or breaking anybody’s heart just because you are horny. For example, every month whether a woman likes it or not, she gets horny (that’s every 60 seconds for a man, by the way). This is a biological function. For some, it is more intense than others. Masturbation is a good way out. No; in itself, masturbation will not hamper your sexual intercourse later. Don’t believe the hype.
Four: Masturbation produces almost all the other benefits of sex without actual sex. It is a good anti-depressant, relieves tension (not just sexual tension), helps you sleep, and keeps the mind sharp.
Almost everybody masturbates, including many of those people who tell you that it is sinful, dirty, and a bad habit (yes; the hypocrisy is filthy). Most people start masturbating from their teens. Remember wet dreams when you first hit your teens? Usually that’s where it starts. A wet dream is a natural procedure by the body. No; it has nothing to do with witches and wizards or spiritual husbands and wives. God knows how many spiritual wives I must have by now if I count all the times I have had a wet dream. Thankfully, I had an educated and enlightened father who explained to me that it was nothing to worry about when he saw my bed stains many years ago as a teenager.
Masturbation is a normal part of the growing child’s exploration of his or her body and continues for the rest of the lives of most people. If you masturbate, you are not an oddity. Actually, its those who claim not to masturbate that are the oddities. Don’t let anyone crush your spirit ever again about this. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing to be ashamed of about it. As long as you don’t let it become an addiction or a problem to normal sexual activity with your partner (and usually it becomes a problem when fantasy gets involved), you are all fine and dandy.
Did I leave anything out?
Yomi Adegboye aka Mister Mobility is a Content Creator, Speaker, Maverick, Mobile Connoisseur, Music Lover, and Managing Editor of Mobility.ng. Follow him on Twitter @Mister_Mobility, on LinkedIn at YomiAdegboye, and circle him on Google+. This article was originally published on Mobility.ng.