There’s not much you can keep secret once you’re famous, and that includes details about your private parts. Thanks to a series of TMI quotes — and even a bit of photographic evidence — we’ve compiled a list of male celebs with some of the biggest packages in Hollywood. Scroll through to see who made the cut (no pun intended).
Vinny Guadagnino
Any Jersey Shore fan can tell you that Vinny’s got quite the large, er, Italian sausage. His once-fling Snooki broke the news in one of her many TMI moments. As she put it, hooking up with him was “like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.” That girl certainly has a way with words.
Michael Fassbender
George Clooney threw an unusual compliment into his acceptance speech at the 2012 Golden Globe Awards when he gave a shout-out to fellow nominee Michael Fassbender, who went nude in Shame. He joked that Michael could play golf with his hands behind his back.
George isn’t the only actor who’s helped Michael score a few more holes-in-one, if you know what we mean. During a March 2012 Human Rights Campaign gala, Michael’s Prometheus co-star Charlize Theron quipped, “Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time.”
Steve McQueen
Late actor Steve McQueen’s business was once described by an ex as “two Coors beer cans welded together.” Whoa. Given that he’s the grandfather of The Vampire Diaries stud Steven R. McQueen (Jeremy Gilbert), we can’t help but wonder if it’s a family trait.
Willem Dafoe
Director Lars Von Trier decided that Willem Dafoe would have to use a body double for the scene in Antichrist where he cuts off his own penis. According to Lars, the actor is so well-endowed that “everybody got very confused when they saw it.” Jeez!
Daniel Craig
Daniel Craig admitted to Vanity Fair that his, er, manhood is what he values most in life. While that sounds like a joke, Dame Judi Dench revealed that his “most treasured possession” is no laughing matter. The actress happened to see it while filming Casino Royale and let slip that it’s “an absolute monster!” Watch out!
David Beckham
If you’ve seen David Beckham’s H&M bodywear ads, you should have no doubt that Victoria Beckham’s rave reviews of her husband’s package are accurate. She told The Sun that what you see in the photos is what you get (or at least what she does). “It is all his,” spilled the former Spice Girl. “It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”
And what does Becks have to say for himself? When asked about stuffing for underwear shoots, he responded, “Let’s just say I’ve been told I don’t need any help in that department. I think I’m pretty OK!”
Owen Wilson
When Owen Wilson and his buddy Woody Harrelson traveled to Peru together, paparazzi managed to snap photos of them bathing in an irrigation ditch wearing nothing but their boxers. Owen’s sopping wet underwear left little to the imagination and showed off the size of his equipment. Maybe these two should swap names?
Liam Neeson
Former America’s Next Top Model judge Janice Dickinson is accustomed to giving out titles, and she has one for ex-flame Liam Neeson: “Biggest Penis of Any Man Alive.” When dishing about her exes in 2007, the former supermodel quipped, “He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out.” That’s an exaggeration, right? Right?
Ewan McGregor
Ewan McGregor hasn’t shied away from on-screen nudity, which makes sense given how much he’s got to show off. After revealing himself in a handful of films early on in his career (Deception, Trainspotting, and The Pillow Book, to name a few), the Scottish actor has decided to be more careful about nude scenes as he gets older. Shame.
Colin Farrell
When Colin Farrell revealed his junk for a scene in 2004’s A Home at the End of the World, the footage was cut after test screenings. According to The Sun, it was just a little too exciting for female viewers. His next attempt at a full-frontal was cut from Alexander because it was too distracting. We can only imagine.
Jared Leto
Jared Leto’s ex-girlfriend Corina Taylor shared that he’s got a future in XXX movies, if he ever wants it. Even in the three years she worked in porn, she never came across anyone bigger. “Jared was the most I ever had to work with,” she dished.
Robin Thicke
Robin Thicke isn’t shy about talking about his package — after all, his “Blurred Lines” unrated music video had balloons that read “ROBIN THICKE HAS A BIG D—K” — but is he really packing? In a Glamour interview, his wife Paula Patton had this to say about it: “Robin’s like, ‘Listen, if I’m, you know, in the Miami Heat’s locker room, I don’t know where I stand, but.…’ But I think that the statement is fairly accurate!”
Leonardo DiCaprio
Bobbie Brown, who made a name for herself as the hottie in Warrant’s 1990 “Cherry Pie” music video, recently described a one-night encounter with Leonardo DiCaprio back when he was in his early twenties. His moves may not have been too smooth at the time — she told Us Weekly that he had barrettes in his hair, and when they were about to get busy, he serenaded her with TLC’s “Waterfalls” — but she was quite surprised by what happened next. “When I pulled his pants down I was like, ‘Holy sh-t.’ I’d just been with Tommy Lee, but Leo looked huge.”
(via Wetpaint)
