by Laura Markham, Ph.D.
“What I start to feel is not just anger appropriate to the situation, but old feelings I carry from the past. And those feelings have nothing to do with my child or the situation. They have come up for me to take a look at them. They are part of me. But they don’t belong in my relationship with my child. They have to do with me and the person who raised me.” — Laura Davis & Janis Keyser
Life is full of emotions that we don’t have time to process in the moment. And if we have kids, we probably have more emotions and less time. Parenting is the hardest job there is. It gives us constant reminders of the places in us that need healing. So it’s not surprising that sometimes we just need a good cry.
Most of the time when we lose it with our children, it’s because we’re lugging around a full backpack of emotions we haven’t taken the time to process. Sometimes we’re actually angry at our boss, our spouse, or the clerk in the store. Sometimes we’re rushing and our anxiety fuels anger at our child. But most often, we have childhood issues that get triggered by our own child’s behavior.