Learn the moves to make it happen. Routines are easy to come by in relationships — and that’s especially true in the bedroom, where it’s all too easy to bypass adventure in favor of the tried-and-true moves. But it may be worth trying a few pleasure-boosting changes to your regularly scheduled romp.
A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that deep vaginal stimulation may lead to more frequent vaginal orgasms.
Researchers surveyed 75 Czech women and found that the women who experienced more vaginal orgasms were those who employed deep vagina stimulation during early experimentation with masturbation. Study authors believe that this may be due to greater tactile sensitivity, as well as greater awareness of vaginal sensations during intercourse.
“Sensational awareness and sensitivity can be explored and enhanced at any point,” says Katherine Hertlein, PhD, associate professor and program director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Nevada Las Vegas, whose research has focused on sex therapy. “Not only that, but the act of experimentation alone can enhance your bond with your partner.”
Here are a few things to try to help you reach vaginal orgasm:
1. Get to know your body and what you like.
You’re likely familiar with the G-spot, which experts generally pinpoint as being about an inch or so inside the front of your vagina. But vaginal orgasms don’t necessarily originate exclusively from that spot.
“Some women find that other areas of their vaginal canal may also produce pleasure,” says Hertlein. Explore with light pressure and see what feels best for you.
2. Incorporate lube into your sex life.
“Aging causes the vaginal wall to thin, which can make deep penetration potentially painful,” says Hertlein.
To avoid any unpleasant sensations, make sure to have lubricant on hand and use it liberally during any positions where the focus is on deeper penetration. Also find out which lube ingredients to look for and which ingredients you should avoid.
3. Try positions that deepen penetration.
“A position like ‘woman on top’ allows you to control the depth of penetration,” explains Hertlein. Or simply slowing down the pace and making sure your partner moves slowly and deliberately can enhance your awareness and help you focus on physical sensations. You can also deepen penetration by placing a pillow or two under your hips.
4. Practice doing your Kegels.
You’ve likely heard of Kegel exercises (squeezing and releasing the pelvic floor muscles). Adding Kegels to your routine a few times a week will build your PC muscles, which enhances your overall orgasmic capacity. You can also try doing them during the deed to direct your awareness to your body.
And the most important thing to remember? Hertlein says, “It’s the attitude, not the orgasm outcome, that’s essential.”
This post originally appeared on Your Tango: How To Have The Elusive V-O EVERYONE’S Talking About